My trip to David Cole Stein’s fortified bunker of doom, started with a long conversation in the living room. I had three friends with me but one was late. The Jewish friend had not arrived yet. So us three young guys were at an older Jewish gentlemen’s house in LA, sitting on “the couch” when David disappears into a side room saying he’d be right out “with a magic trick”

Being an ametur magician myself, my first thought was oh cool I wonder if I can figure it out (I did by the way) my second thought and scanning the room everyone else’s thought was more disturbing. 

We had brought with us gifts. As a joke we had gone to CVS an bought the shittiest bottom shelf plastic bottle off brand vodka we could find. At the time David was taking care of his sick mother and dealing with his backstabbers and “outing”. He was drinking like an Irish sailor. In fact I’m all my interviews with him he was drinking through out the whole process which is why the latter half of those always gets entertaining. I was the first person to give him air time after being outed for questioning parts of WWII as a teenager. 

Upon arriving with the shitty booze we noticed that there were a several empty bottles of the same type already on the table. Apparently David has also figured out how to get the maximum amount of alcohol for the least amount of money. A drunk maybe but a frugal shopper still! The Jew just doesn’t wash off. 

Before entering we saw him peep through the window. I understood why he’d be cautious. The JDF has jumped him and knocked him out cold in the past while he was walking home with groceries on Thanksgiving. 

He comes to the door wearing shoes with lifts in them. Pointing at his feet he says “I’m wearing my Hollywood shoes to be taller, but you’re all still taller than me.” That Jerry Lewis screech was impossible not to recognize. To be fair myself and two friends are all pretty tall. 

He knew me from Skype and youtube and I introduced my friends. Justin Hawkins was with me as was an off the grid guy who looks like a pro wrestler. Another friend who isn’t tall but is in shape Benjamin Ahdoot would be arriving later. 

I pulled the out the vodka and said….scanning the bottles on the table, we new you liked this stuff. 

I’ll finish this story next time I’m in the waiting room. Right now it’s BABY TIME. 

I can tell you this, when we finally entered the mattress fortified bunker, we saw the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in many years of walking this earth…