Anti-Neocons Forum

you guys wanna here something totally funny?


I'm totally pretty sure i convinced this hilary supporter, who was volunteering in Iowa, but is PAID staff at her job in NY working for hilary's campaign to vote for Ron Paul, OR as the very least look at him a lot more seriously.

So heres the story.

a bunch of people in council bluffs iowa where i was stationed had this march. so we had this big ron paul march and the ended at this big intersection. Now it was right next to a bridge. we had a couple people who were in cars who kept driving by and honking. well one of them went over the bridge and noticed that there were hilary supporters across the bridge. so i got a group of people to go across the bridge with me (and then everyone else followed) so we would draw attention away from them, crash their little thing, whatever, i was an asshole =)

so anyways, we get across, their are probably 40 of us at this point and we get on all 4 corners where they have one person.

so the corner i get to there's this girl, (college age) and so i just start talking to her, without being rude, ya know like she wasn't a complete idiot.

well after a while she said "okay, let me see one of those fliers, just don't let the other hilary supporters see me reading this"

and afterwards she was saying a lot of good things about ron paul and seemed VERY unsure about hilary. esp. when i told her some dirt on her she was unaware of etc.

anyways, it was funny, i think she kind of flirted with me towards the end.

and i'm not sure but i THINK she could have been Jewish.

Okay so me and the camp captain were driving somewhere and we saw someone in our area who had a ron paul sign.

so we figured we'd get their info and make sure they come out on caucus night.

so we ring the doorbell and this old guy comes to the door WITH NO PANTS ON.

I can't tell you how surprised we were but it was funny.

so this guy says, "it's cold out, you guys come in for a minute"

and so he's sitting there talking with us and it takes him 10 minutes to put his fucking pants on because he keeps talking and stopping whatever action it was to get them on.

he was obviously really old, he kept talking about his wives and said "sonofa bitches" every other word.

he also went on for a long time about some invention he made that increases the efficiency of engines in trucks by 66%.

he told me he designed it and went to meet with some people from GE.

he showed them how it worked and then he was supposed to meet with their lawyer and his to hammer out the details, but they never showed.

3 years later %40 of the new trucks have this invention of his, exactly how he made it in trucks who had something to do with GE.

and after going into waaaayyyy too much detail he told us that we should make a movie out of it...

like 10 times.

he told us how the world would wake up, and see how "these sonofa bitches" at GE stole his invention.


i had to cut him off and leave, otherwise we might still be in there.


oh and he needed a ride because when he was in texas he hit an alligator with his truck, which we found out later meant some big tire.

okay so me and Matt, (along with others who were in different areas in the neighborhood we were in) were canvassing and i see him walking up to hi car with this really funny look on his face.

so i ask him whats up and he said something like this:


"I just went to this house, and a gay guy answered the door and when i mentioned Ron Paul he just started screaming at me. He said Ron Paul's a racist! Didn't you get the newsletter?! I can't believe you're out campaigning for him, your sick! How can you support a racist?!" among a lot of other stuff.

so at this point i was like "WTF, dude(!) i wanna go to his house and pretend like i didn't know someone already went there so i can see this for myself and combat his ignorant argument if he lets me"


so i walk up to the house and ring the doorbell.....



A guy opens the door and says..
"Oh no, you get off my property right now!! You stupid Ron Paul supporters. DIDN'T YOU GET THE NEWSLETTER?!! RON PAUL'S A RACIST THUG!! (the whole time with a flamingly homosexual voice that made it extremely hard not to laugh at) You are doing a disservice to America!! How can you go door to door for a RACIST?!"

in which i replied "...umm what makes you think Ron Paul's a racist?"

he said

"THE NEWSLETTER!! DIDN'T YOU GET THE NEWSLETTER?!!"

I said

"Oh you mean his weekly article that was written by a ghost writer who got fired immediately afterwards for being racist?"

he said

"IT HAD RON PAUL'S NAME ON IT! SO HE'S A RACIST. YOU'RE DOING A DISSERVICE TO AMERICA, GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"

I said

"Yes sir, Thank you very much for you're time"

and he started yelling at me as i was leaving, shouting things like
"RON PAUL'S A RACIST THUG!!"


and he started watching me afterwards....

the funny thing was we attached personal notes to the fliers we handed out to people who weren't home. and Matt had previously put on one the guys car...which had his name, and the school he goes to on it.

hahahaha

how much you wanna bet this guy hunts him down haha

So by this time you guys know who Matt is.

well he's an honest guy. and it's my humble opinion that he's not the best with girls.

so....we are out canvasing, and i get back in his car after doing my section of houses, and i see him walking back to the car....again with a funny face (this actually happened before the gay guy incident, but whatever), and i asked him, "Matt what happeed" to which he replied something like this:

"A hot girl just answered the door with the shortest shorts i've ever seen in my life. and she put her leg up on the side of where the door closes and you could see her...and she was kinda looking down at it..."

I said, "WHAT DID YOU SAY??"

he said: "i just tried to talk about Ron Paul, but i kept messing up..and i was like..uuhh okay..Thanks..for your time, and left"

The next part wasn't very pretty....there was a lot of cussing and i was mad at him for not doing the manly thing to do, which was surely, as you all know, to get in there and ensure her vote was going to Paul.

i thought about doing it myself, but he ended up driving away before i could....and i was upset..to say the least...but anyways....i'm still kinda sore that he didn't let me fix his hack-job of the situation...



idk, maybe it was all for the best...but i for one, know that he was in no way exaggerating what happened...and you would too if you would have known him..

hey if nothing else you can use Paul to get girls...

that's always fun.

"trust me baby, take it slow, i only want what's best for this country"

these are funny stories.

Khan piss off.

Khanverse wrote:hey if nothing else you can use Paul to get girls...

that's always fun.

"trust me baby, take it slow, i only want what's best for this country"

You should think about volunteering for not being a dickhead.

Thanks for volunteering Evan, I trust you gained some valuable experience.

Khan you're a giant elephant cock.

Khan you are a Monkey's Anus.

Khanverse wrote:hey if nothing else you can use Paul to get girls...

that's always fun.

"trust me baby, take it slow, i only want what's best for this country"

That was a rather rude comment.

Anyways, thanks Evan for working so hard and traveling to Iowa to help. Geeze Khan bitches about people just sitting on their ass then he makes fun of the people who are out there doing it.